The Pollyanna Principle

I’ve been called a Pollyanna before.  I totally took it as a compliment (though I’m not sure it was meant that way).  I have noticed over the years, that I tend to try to find the good in all situations.  That isn’t to say that I don’t get disappointed or upset.  I do.  I sure do.

But, I always try to find something to be glad about – hence the Pollyanna Principle.

I know that the internet has really changed the way we communicate with people about our lives.  Facebook, Instagram, and blogs are full of amazing photos of incredible vacations, happy kids, balanced meals, perfect houses, and enriching activities.  The way we can instantly and widely share our accomplishments definitely gives a false sense of perfection to many people.  I am guilty of doing this.

But I don’t feel guilty about it.

Why share this blurry, sad photo:

When I could, instead, share this adorable, (more) happy photo:

As a quote (perhaps falsely attributed to Abraham Lincoln (the internet it torn on this issue)) in the movie Pollyanna says, “When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.”  This can be said about ourselves as well.  If I look for the bad in myself, I will become mostly bad.  If I look for the good, I will focus on that and become good.

I know that I have bad traits.  I try not to focus on them, but to be aware of them.  I do, however, try to focus on my good traits.  If I put my energy into the things I can do well, I feel that that goodness will spread into the things I can’t.

My One Little Word of the year is Gratitude, and this totally connects to my positive attitude.  Every single day, I think about what I’m grateful for, and usually I have to work hard to find a single word that can express the goodness of my day.  Even on my roughest, toughest days, I’m able to find something to be grateful about.  This morning Alma peed her pants, drew on herself, and woke Harriet up.  I felt myself getting really angry, so I took a moment to just be grateful for my beautifully frustrating 2-year-old, and remind myself that she is a 2-year-old. It took a lot of energy to be glad in the moment.  But, after a couple deep breaths, I was glad.

There is a lot of genuine positivity on the internet.  I wanted to share some of my favorite blogs and vlogs where the Pollyanna Principle is living and breathing:

First is my friend Evynne Hollens’ YouTube channel.  If you want to hear some beautiful music, and watch a new mom’s journey, please check out her channel.  Evynne has always been one of the most positive people I’ve known, and she is also one of the most successful people I’ve known.  I am going to say that those two things are related.  Watch this video about her amazing attitude, and this beautiful cover of Alma’s favorite song.

These are my three favorite blogs.  Whenever I do a reader clean-up, these three stay on the top of my Favorites list.  They are all inspired.

Kal Barteski is an amazingly strong and beautiful artist.  She has her own Girl Tribe.  She understand the power of encouragement and positivity.  Check out her project that tells people all over the world how awesome they are.  Kal is truly awesome.

Elise Blaha Cripe has a lovely attitude, and a lovely blog.  Her little corner of the internet is full of great tips, and beautiful photos.

The blog that is mostly likely to make me cry (and I love a good cry) is Girls Gone Child.  Rebecca Woolf is giving her four children the most amazing childhood full of music, dancing, creativity, expression, adventure, camaraderie, and love.  She isn’t one to shy away from the difficult or the mundane, and that is why I keep going back to her.

 

 

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A New Dress for Alma

The other night I totally had the urge to sew something.  Since I’ve been working, I haven’t made anything, and I’ve been missing my hobby. While I’ve made quite a few dresses in the past, they have all been sort of complicated.

I have been wanting to try to make a simple dress pattern, so I just gave it a shot!  I sketched out a simple sun dress, then drafted up a pattern.  I just took one of Alma’s dresses and used it to estimate the bodice proportions, then made a couple simple ruffle layers.

I’m really happy with how it turned out!  I love the colors together, on Alma.  She is really into foxes these days, so it was fun to include those.

I will definitely be making more patterns and dresses in the future!

Easter Photos

It’s so much fun having a daughter who is old enough to understand Easter this year.  She is starting to get the whole Jesus thing, but she totally got the Easter Bunny.

We had a great day at church, and egg hunting, and eating with friends and family.

I was fun to start a new tradition of making the girls’ Easter dresses.  These got to serve double duty as dresses for Harriet’s Baptism.

Baby Led Weaning: How To Do It and What You’ll Need

Oh, the exciting time when your baby is old enough to sit up, interact with you, smile, laugh, and eat!  I’ll be honest with you.  I’m not really a baby person.  I like the little babies, sure, but I am always so excited for them to grow up a little and become more interactive and fun.  Six months is an amazing age – they are doing such fun things, and becoming more of an active part of the family.

In our family, we love dinnertime.  It is a time of day that we all gather and spend time together.  I remember long, lingering dinners growing up.  We sit at the table every night.  We light candles every night.  We use cloth place mats, and cloth napkins every night.  These are important to me

It is also important to me that my kids eat what we eat.  There are many reasons for this.  It’s nutritious, it broadens their palates, and most importantly, it’s easy.  I don’t need to cook three different dinners, and keep track of minute dietary details.  This leads us to Baby Led Weaning.

First of all, I want to clear up a misconception.  The term weaning in this sense isn’t how Americans typically understand it (as in the taking away of something, like nursing, or bottles).  It means that you will start introducing foods to a baby’s diet, in addition to breast milk, or formula.  The baby should still be getting the huge majority of their food and nutrition from breast milk.

If you start your baby on pureed foods, you need a huge number of things:  food mill, food processor, jars, spoons, time, planning, processed baby food, money.  If you make your own purees, it is time consuming, messy, expensive.  If you buy pre-made baby food in jars, it’s also expensive, and you don’t really always know what’s in the jars.  You also always need to carry pureed food with you.

If you do Baby Led Weaning you need three things:

1. A baby
2. Food
3. A sense of humor (and maybe a bib or two)

Seriously.  that’s all you need.  For real.

We did this with Alma, and she’s two now.  She’s the best eater I know.  She eats Thai food, Mexican food, vegetables, soups, and her favorite food is Sushi.  So, we are doing it again with Harriet.

I like to start with sweet potatoes, or yams, cut into French-fry shaped sticks, and roasted.  The shape is good for beginning eaters because it is easy to grasp and get to the mouth.  It’s important to only try one kind of food at a kind, and wait a couple days before trying the next, to make sure your baby doesn’t have a reaction.

We’ve been doing it for about a month with Harriet and she loves it.  Her favorite foods are roasted, then frozen cauliflower bites, blueberries, sweet potatoes, peas (so cute to see her pudgy little fingers pick up a pea and get it to her mouth), rice cakes, yogurt, applesauce, green beans, asparagus.

Another plus to BLW is that it really encourages independence and fine motor skills.  Harriet can pick up a tiny pea, and get it to her mouth just fine.  She’s also getting pretty good at using a spoon to get applesauce from a bowl to her mouth.

It’s pretty amazing to see a little baby feeding herself.  She only has the beginnings of her two bottom teeth, but she can chew up all her food, work it around in her mouth, and swallow it, no problem.  It is so natural and instinctual (not like purees, if you ask me).

One thing to be aware of is that babies will sometimes gag (this is the case in BLW, and with purees).  It is really important to understand that gagging is very different than choking.  Gagging is a sign that they are figuring it out, I see it as a sign of success when Harriet gags a little.  It teaches her how to keep the food in the right part of her mouth until she’s ready to swallow it.

One of my favorite parts of BLW is that we get to eat dinner as a family.  We each sit up at the table and eat.  Jesse and I get to enjoy our meals.  We’re not constantly focused on Harriet, trying to force feed her.  Harriet eats until she doesn’t want to eat anymore.

I think it’s empowering.  Harriet gets to choose what she eats from what’s in front of her.  She gets to choose the pace in which she eats it.  She gets to choose when she’s had enough.

She’s a happy eater, so we’re a happy family!  Let me know if you have any fun baby feeding stories, or if you have any questions!  Cheers!

We Are Seriously Loving This Early Spring Weather

Like, seriously loving it.

We really have to take advantage of the spring before the spring takes advantage of us with its relentless rain and pollen.  Our kids are such a great age for playing these days.  Alma can almost independently play at a playground.  Harriet is content to roll around on a blanket, or nap in the Ergo.

These photos are from earlier this week.  We are now in the middle of a 10 day rain storm.  Such is life in a Willamette Valley spring.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Identity

Last night I went to see Divergent with the ladies in my book club.  Before the movie we met for dinner and drinks and discussion.  We talked about which faction we would be in (if you haven’t read the book, or seen the movie here’s a quick rundown:  in a future Chicago, the city is divided into different factions – Erudite where everyone is smart, Abnegation where everyone is selfless, Dauntless where everyone is brave, Amity where everyone is kind, and Candor where everyone is honest).

We talked about the faction we would have chosen when we were 18, and the faction that we really belong in.  (in the book and film the characters choose where they belong as teenagers… perhaps a reflection of the absurdity of choosing a major in college at such a young age.)

I don’t know where I belong.  I am an eternal optimist, so that makes me feel like I should be in Amity.  I like to think I’m kind of smart, so that makes me feel like I belong in Erudite.  When I was 18, I thought I was pretty bad-ass, so I might have chosen Dauntless.  I believe in the strength of truth, so maybe Candor.

But, I sort of feel like I’m trapped in Abnegation.  I spend most of my days living the life of a two-year-old.  The other days, I’m serving and teaching slightly older than two (but not necessarily mature-r) children.

I sat at dinner last night looking at, and listening to, amazingly smart professional women.  I know how I must look to them.  A mostly stay at home mom.  A teacher.  I am not oblivious to the fact that our society doesn’t respect the intelligence of teachers (if you can’t do, teach).  I also get the ideas about a woman who spends her days with kids.  I really do get it.

My life resolves around my kids.  My main goal for each day is to entertain kids, keep them clean, maybe even clean up the house a little bit.  I don’t spend the day expanding my brain, solving problems, creating things, even talking to adults.  Sometimes I don’t get out of sweatpants.  My vocabulary is very elementary.  I talk about poop.  I talk about poop a lot.

Anyway, abnegation.  Some days I feel like my self is melting away.  I can see myself blending into the lives of my children.  If my daughter asks me to do something, I often do it.  If my daughter has a two-year-old melt down, I am along for the ride.  If my baby needs to nurse, that’s what I do.  What would my dauntless 18-year-old self think of this?

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here.

I know that I love how I am able to stay home with my kids.  I love that I am giving them a great gift by doing this important job for them.  I know that they will soon be grown up and gone, and I will look back on these days with shining rainbows and unicorns in my hindsight.

If you’re still reading, I’ll try to get to a point.  I feel like I am missing something by not being a professional adult who spends time with other adults.  I feel like I might be wasting some of my self by not being outside the home.  But I also feel like there is no greater job than the one I have now – and no better place for me to be using my talents.

Now that you’ve read this far, I will tell you that I don’t have the answers.  Just musings and questions.  Let me know if you have the answers.

Thick as Thieves

Alma has some pretty great friends.  None so great as our neighbor, Rory.  They have an unspoken way of communicating.  Sometimes this can be a problem.There are some amazing adventures in their future.

Novruz 2014, Toddler Style

Happy Novruz, everyone!  It’s spring!  I love spring so much.  The flowers, sunshine, the green.  It’s my second favorite time of year, but every year at this time, it’s my favorite time of year.

This year we had our playgroup over for a Novruz celebration.  We started by dyeing eggs, which was a wonderfully frantic (and surprisingly mess-free) dash.  We had nine two-year-olds, and various aged babies along for the ride. 

Jesse explained the meaning of Novruz – the toddlers listened very attentively – all the earth, wind, fire, water, rebirth, newness.  Then, we went outside to jump over the fire!

I love this ritual of leaving all our troubles, and worries, and problems in the fire.  I’m always one for a fresh, clean start – especially when spring is springing.

It was an amazingly beautiful day, so we all went to the backyard to play with all of Alma’s bikes, and her slide.  It was perfect.  I love how our kids are old enough to pretty much just play.  We don’t have to hover and help like we did last year at this time.  It gives us grown-ups time to chat and catch up. 

We are so blessed to be a part of this great group of families.  We all (pretty much) met through the Birth Center, where most of us had our first babies.  After getting to know each other at the weekly Baby Clinics, the idea was born to have a monthly playgroup.  Not only do we all have two-year-olds, but most of us are on the second round these days, too.  It’s wonderful.

After playing for a while, we had to play the egg game.  I think Alma’s friend Beatrix won this year.

We were also really lucky to have our authentic Azerbaijani friend, Elvin up for the celebration.  It’s fun having him so close this year (he’s studying in Long Beach, California).  He’s a great dost, and both our girls truly love him.  So do we.

Happy Novruz!

 

Well, She’s Two.

Here’s our pre-dinner conversation with Alma, March 18th, 2014:

Alma: *trips over toy boat* AAAAAWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Dad: Oh no!  You’re okay!  Do you need a hug?
Alma: NOOOOO!!!! AWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH  MOMMYYYYYYYY!
Dad: Mom’s cooking dinner right now, but I can give you a hug.
Alma: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! AWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *walks sadly into kitchen*
Mom: Uh oh!  Did you fall down?  Are you okay? (she is clearly okay)
Alma: NOOOO WWAAAAWWWWWHHHAHHHAAAAHHH!
Mom:  I can pick you up in just a second.  I need to finish this right now.
Alma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mom:  Want to look in the oven?  See what’s cooking?
Alma: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Mom:  Can you tell me what you want?
Alma: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Mom:  Do you want me to pick you up?
Alma: WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
.
.
.
This continues in roughly the same way for about 10 minutes, with both mom and dad suggesting things to help Alma cheer up.
Mom: Okay, dinner’s ready! (this is usually very motivating for Alma)
Alma: NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mom:  Okay.  You can either eat with our family, or sit on the stairs until you calm down enough to join us.
Alma: WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dad: So, how was your day?
Alma: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Mom:  It was pretty good!  I’m really…
Alma: *tries to climb into mom’s lap* WAAAAAA!
Mom: *ignores climbing puddle of a toddler*… tired.  How was your day?
Alma: AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-HHHHHHAAA-AAAWWWWWWWW-WWWAAAAAAAAAH!!!!  All done. *climbs into chair and starts eating dinner*

End scene. Who is this creature we lovingly invited into our home, and our dining room?

Friday Gratitudes 9

Friday the 28th- Calm.  Both Jesse and I were able to keep our calm when Alma smashed her face into our bed and blood was pouring our of her mouth.  I think a tooth went through her lip, but the bleeding stopped pretty quickly, so we just gave her some ice and watched it.  Scary to see our baby’s blood outside her body.  So grateful that we didn’t freak out, and that we kept her from mirrors, so she didn’t freak out.

Saturday the 1st – Frozen.  Again.  We took Alma to her first movie and she loved it.  I really hope she acquires my love for musicals.

Sunday the 2nd – Oscars.

Monday the 3rd – Dr.Bradshaw.  We really have the best pediatrician in the world.  She has been a hero of mine since my 19th birthday.  We had Harriet’s 6 month check-up, and as always, Dr. Bradshaw was a breath of fresh air.  I’m not sure she knows just how much she means to me, but that’s okay.

Tuesday the 4th – Toddlers. I love watching Alma interact with her friends.  She is learning so much, making so many mistakes, doing so many strange things.  I’m glad to see her with other odd little ducks.

Wednesday the 5th – Ashes. We didn’t actually make it to an Ash Wednesday service, but I was glad to know it was happening.  And the season of Lent always feels sort of magical.

Thursday the 6th – Gymnastics. We met a couple sweet friends for the open-gym time at a local gym.  These kids are so much fun, and so able!